Advice on dating after widowhood
You have to understand that losing your entire life (because I not only lost my husband, but my home and my friends and my community and everything that made sense in my world) and having to rebuild it from scratch is one of the single most isolating experiences a person can have.
To suddenly find yourself spending all day at home with two little kids and then every night alone with no one to share your thoughts with, to sometimes go several days at a time without having a face-to-face adult interaction, can be maddening.
I anticipate that dating is going to be difficult as a widow because I have an added layer of complication that is not the same for someone who is divorced or has never been married. Unless and until you become my husband, that fact will not change. You will need to be strong enough to let me grieve, or better yet, hold me while I grieve. I expect you to make an effort to show me you’re interested. I don’t have time or energy to invest in a man who isn’t on board.
I suspect it will take a special kind of man to even want to date me, and be strong enough to embrace my story. Your efforts will not go unmatched, but I don’t have time or inclination to chase after you. My heart has been broken and it may take a minute for me to share it again.
The reason I write is so that others going through what I have gone through feel less alone, less afraid and more normal, more seen, more known. Content Header .feed_item_answer_user.js-wf-loaded . There are all sorts of dating experiences many have in their lifetime—from the rotating door of bachelors and bachelorettes in our 20s to the more mature approach to finding love in our 30s, meeting a partner is no easy task.So the possibility of sitting across a table from a man with a nice smile and an easy laugh and chatting about something other than Daniel Tiger or Fancy Nancy started to sound really great.On the other hand, the thought of dating is also pretty appalling to me because I’ve always hated it.
Right now I am not looking for love; I am happy to just meet new people and have good conversation. Maybe one day I will be sitting on the porch with my husband yelling at all the hooligans that walk by. I still believe that love is in my future, but I’m not going to find it sitting on the sidelines.