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He has acknowledged that he has an ambivalent-anxious attachment style (with the tendency to retreat when he is feeling emotionally challenged, but still a deep need to connect), which he is making sense of in therapy and independently.
We seem to share a vision of what our futures look like.He is always open and available to speak about my needs and feelings – but is not always equipped to handle my expressions.I’ve noticed this can stir up some maybe-not-so-long-lost feelings of abandonment for me, and wonder if this means that we are doomed?!And you’re writing to me to make sense of what seems like contradictory advice, “wait and see,” or “believe the negatives and run.”Honestly, you don’t have to decide today. Which is why I see this situation through a prism of cautious optimism. As I see it, the script of your relationship has yet to be written. One of my favorite quotes is: “The only risk is the one not taken.”I wonder if she would consider staying if she was 10 years younger than she is now.It sounds to me like he’s a good man, who is into you and is working through his issues. I can’t help but think that that almost anything can be spinned into a red flag and one would only tolerate red flags (Maybe it’s an orange flag in this case) if they felt they couldn’t do much better than they are doing now.
Afterall, I did make the point almost anything can be spinned into a red flag.