Dating a narcissistic man
Narcissists might like the high-status of having a successful partner – but only as long as you keep your hands off their spotlight.If you start to eclipse it, you’ll soon be subject to putdowns and doubt; anything to stop you becoming better than them.Being wanted feels great so it's easy to be swept along, but you soon learn that a narcissist’s attention is easily lost, often due to something innocuous like you voicing alternate opinions to theirs.It makes you see how insubstantial this lightning-fast love really is, and you'll find new appreciation for more slow-and-steady, solidly-built affection. Rather than accept fault, they lay it at the feet of others; blaming everyone from their parents to their partner for their own poor behaviour.Breaking free opens your eyes to how much this attitude was holding you back, and you learn to look for a partner who not only won’t be threatened by your successes, they’ll encourage you to aim even higher. If you’ve never had a relationship with a narcissist, you may wonder, just would you date one in the first place?But if you've been there and moved on, you know that it’s easy to get hooked: narcissists are master manipulators, whose false charm is artfully designed to strike right where it will be the most effective.
But, in that process you get to find out just how strong you are. '5 Controlling And Manipulative Relationship Signs To Watch Out For, Because Love Isn't Supposed To Feel Restrictive.' Found at https:// Brenda Della Casa, writing for Your Tango, 2016.
For instance, narcissists who think that their partner’s looks reflect their own dating success will show annoyance if that partner dresses in a way the narcissist doesn't approve of.
Moving on from this means becoming aware of how their tactics can push you where you don't want to be and so you become vigilant about setting (and sticking to) your boundaries.
For a classic narcissist, emotional vulnerability is akin to weakness, meaning that they suppress it in themselves and make their partners feel needy for not doing the same.
Yet, dating a narcissist shows you that this sort of thinking is a roadblock for relationship progression: if you can’t be vulnerable with someone (and accept their vulnerabilities in turn), you can never achieve emotional intimacy and the trust, love, and security that come with it.
Dating a narcissist wises you up to this empty flattery, meaning you’ll only believe kind words that are followed through with kind actions and kept promises.