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If I caught him looking at another woman, he would tell me it was because I wasn’t working hard enough to please him.
He needed to watch pornography because I was unable to provide him with what he really needed. His demands were hefty, and if I could not meet them, I was berated because I If he felt like I was on my phone too much, he would turn off my data for 24–48 hours or until he felt like I had learned my lesson. It took almost a solid year of counseling, praying, breathing, and a And yet the absolute best part of this entire experience was finding myself in picking up the pieces.
The individuals completed census questionnaires when they were in their late 40s.
Stumm evaluated the data and found that contrary to some existing research, childhood intelligence and economic status did not directly impact adult psychological well-being.
Any accomplishment, big or small, was immediately deflated and rarely celebrated. My family were big mouths and know-it-alls when they tried to stick up for me. It starts small, with things like jokes and subtle comments, and then escalates until you question everything you do and think. Instead, your thoughts have been shaped into a horrifying alternate universe by the very person who vowed to love and protect you. You are subconsciously taught to devalue your personal worth. I thought I was too smart, but I found myself clawing my way up and out of that huge void. As I worked to repair the damage, I found the tiny fragile bits of who I am — the parts that I suppressed because I lost myself in the endless cycle of becoming less — and was able to get reacquainted, nurture, and love them for what they are. My life is not perfect by any means, but I have zero expectations for perfection.
I was no longer allowed to confide in my mother or my sister. It has been almost two years since I left my now ex-husband (a little over a year since our divorce, which, as easy as I tried to make it, was a spectacle in and of itself), and I am finally feeling brave enough to write about this. The effects of gaslighting are real, and they persist. But now I do know that no one deserves to be treated this way. The end result is an unapologetic, authentic me that I celebrate and love fiercely. I have worked on setting my personal boundaries and have defined what is unacceptable and not tolerable to me in relationship. I am dating an incredible man who sees the same in me. I am blessed, humbled, and so full of gratitude it feels like my heart could explode.
Unfortunately, teen dating violence—the type of intimate partner violence that occurs between two young people who are, or who were once in, an intimate relationship—is a serious problem in the United States.
I was asked privately by concerned family members if he had ever hit me. He told me he hoped I wrapped my car around a tree one night when I was going out alone with family and some friends. He would tell me I was lucky I had it as good as I did. Instead of it absolutely crippling me like it would have two years ago, I rolled my eyes and went on with my day (okay, I might have taken a screenshot of it and sent it to a few close friends with a quick “WTF? I don’t allow his negative energy to interfere with my life any longer. There are women like me who will tolerate the absolute worst even though they deserve more. I want these women to know that they are not crazy. They are not defined by another person’s definition of who they are. They can find their truth, and in finding truth, find strength as well. It’s burned white-hot on my heart, and I share it here: I was a victim of domestic abuse.
He would call me an idiot in public and then laugh as he suggested I walk 3 feet behind him. My friends suddenly became drama, trash, and troublemakers. There were times when I would need extra money for something (anything, really), or could not afford to do something he wanted me to pay for, and he would call me “Broke Ass Brittany” and tell me I was terrible with money.
He told me he would raise his daughter to be an independent woman so she wouldn’t grow up needing a man like her mother did.
For instance, smarter, wealthier children may have more opportunities to pursue higher education and attain high-paying jobs, thus putting them in better socioeconomic positions in early adulthood. Life-course pathways to psychological distress: A Cohort Study. doi:10.1136/bmjopen-2013-002772 © Copyright 2013 Good Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by Good
It is during this young adult phase that economic status seems to affect middle-aged psychological adjustment the most. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.
However, socioeconomic status in early adulthood did affect later well-being for the adults Stumm evaluated.