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In this case, only the person who’s dating you gets the benefit of your expertise — which why it’s ideal for you not to be on the same team or department in the first place.
But if it’s unavoidable, then consider talking to your HR department, as they can help you figure out how to ensure fairness and organizational integrity.
“This can lead to hurt feelings and resentment.”Still, take into consideration the nature of the relationship — because if it’s not serious, it may not be worth the trouble of disclosing it.
If you both understand that it’s casual, happen to have the right circumstances (like being in different departments, which could mean fewer mutual colleagues), and are careful to act professionally at work, there may not be any need to do so.
“Research suggests that secret relationships can be corrosive,” Baker says.
If your company handbook doesn’t require a trip to human resources, it’s your call on how to proceed.“As long as the relationship does not fall into a prohibited liaison and is not creating a disruption to the work, there is no reason for HR to be involved,” says Valerie Keels, a member of the Special Expertise panel of the Society for Human Resources Management (SHRM).“In my opinion, the only time these relationships should be reported to HR is when they break an organizational rule or if it’s creating a disruption to the individuals’ work.”Still, it comes down to your comfort level.Otherwise, when the truth comes out about a secret relationship, colleagues might feel betrayed.“They may have said things about your significant other to you that they would have never said if they had known you were together,” Baker explains.
“They tend to be educated about the same, and they tend to be within driving distance.” Those logistics can make or break a budding couple, as anyone who’s ever been in a long-distance relationship can attest.