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They still look at each other with the unembarrassed adoration of a first crush. Rather than attempt to describe the men I’ve dated, allow me to list just a few of the reasons we broke up: another woman; his strong sense of thrift; a reverence for the Virgin Mary that took precedence over me; probably gay; a drink called the Zombie that must have contained an unusually blunt strain of truth serum; chronically misused vocabulary words (his); he simply “forgot” to pick me up for dinner one night; my impatience; my nagging; my general dislike of the Great Outdoors.

Desperate for a byline, I once accepted an assignment to sample five dating services for a month.And I stayed in the game long enough to notice my priorities changing (from “You should see him put away the Jim Beam! When I married at 31, I had been officially dating for half my life.I devoted a great deal of energy to it, and I seldom gave myself time off.“Respect yourself,” I’ll say, and “Keep an open mind” and “Drop that loser now.” But I know she’ll probably learn as much from the things that I don’t say.If I can tell her one thing, I’d like it to be this: Each time your heart gets battered, it heals a little bit bigger.

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And after budgeting for eye-catching hosiery, breath mints and cab fare home, there’s not much left over for private detectives.