Pakistani dating culture
Moiz eventually came out to his entire family a few years ago and, while he was not immediately accepted, he says, “the dust eventually settled because I’m male.” Others aren’t so lucky.
G, a traditional dancer and son of an imam, says his father would literally kill him if he came out.
According to Pakistani newspaper , the killer said he wanted to stop the spread of “this evil” in Pakistani society, though police say he had sex with his victims before killing them.
When they’re not being targeted or rejected by their families, many gay men are forced into marriage. Now 25, he has four children and lives a double life.
“The most a gay man has to fear are his parents and then his brothers,” Ali says.
Some gay men are able to come out to their families and friends.
Ironically, it’s that culture that enables same-sex relationships to flourish, as long as the participants are discreet.
This is because Pakistan is a homosocial society, as Sinaan puts it, meaning that men can only go out in public or socialize with men, women with women.
Rather, it is discrimination, police blackmail and brutality, and their own families that are the greatest threat to gay men.
“It makes you super-straight,” says Ali (who asked that only his first name be published). Dominating a woman is easy, but you’re dominating a guy.
You must be super masculine.” “I’m going to sodomize you” is a common insult, Ali says, something that fathers would use for their sons, or brothers use for each other.
Male friends can often be seen in twos or threes, holding hands or with an arm affectionately around the other’s waist or neck.
In macho Pakistani culture, having sex with a man — as long as you’re the one penetrating or “the top” — means you are the epitome of machismo.
Pakistan is a world of contrasts: a land of fundamentalist Islam, Osama bin Laden’s hideout, and terrorist attacks, where children are gunned down going to school or accused of blasphemy and sentenced to death.