Parents with kids dating
Many parents prefer not to tell their children about their new relationship until it becomes more serious, usually after a few months.That’s normally my advice too, but it seems kids in Hadfield’s study didn’t like being lied to—and sometimes resented their parent’s new lover when they were finally introduced.
Second, parents expected a new romantic partner to help firm up the hierarchy in the family, putting the children back in their place and mom or dad back to being less of a child’s friend and more a parent with rules and expectations.
After all, older children especially can feel like they have a close relationship with their custodial parent and might feel betrayed that something as big as a new love interest wasn’t shared.
Kids, Hadfield says, may actually mistrust the new partner more if they feel like he or she was the reason their parent lied.
Parents who get into these relationships may have very different expectations for how things should be than the men and women who they’re bringing home.
For example, Hadfield found that custodial parents wanted their new partners to take on a parenting role with their children, as well as being the parent's romantic partner.
It’s even worse if the child’s parent says disparaging things about their ex-lover.