Scott croft biblical dating
Scott Croft writes a simple yet Biblically sound teaching describing why courting is the best choice for Christians. Courtship ordinarily begins when a single man approaches a single woman by going through the woman’s father and then conducts his relationship with the woman under the authority of her father, family or church, whichever is most appropriate. Biblical courtship has one motive – to find a spouse.
A man will court a particular woman because he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct.
The best comparison between courting and purity vs intimate dating can be found on the Focus on the Family website entitled Boundless. For our purposes, there are three broad differences between what has been called Biblical courtship and modern dating. The Difference in Motive The first difference lies with the man’s motive in pursuing the relationship.
“Holding out for true love” as the above quote defines it means demanding a person to whom I am completely attracted in the secular sense, somebody who meets all the qualifications on my “list,” and whom I believe is the “best I can do.” In the author’s mind — and unfortunately in the minds of many single Christians — anything short of finding that perfect match created in one’s mind falls short of “true love” and constitutes the sad and unwise act of “settling.” Such an approach to love and marriage fundamentally misunderstands the Bible’s idea of both.
In the world’s version of attraction, I’m a consumer, not a servant.
The fact that individuals will be emotionally and probably physically intimate with many people before settling down with the “right person” is just part of the deal. ” while Biblical courtship asks, “How can I be the one for her? The Difference in Methods Third, and most practically, modern dating and Biblical courtship are different in their methods. Grow your physical intimacy and intensity on the same track as your emotional intimacy.
Yet where is the Biblical support for such an approach to marriage? How many examples of “recreational dating” do we see among God’s people in the Bible? The practical advice I give singles at church is, if you cannot happily see yourself as a married man (or woman) in less than one year, then you are not ready to date. The Difference in Mind-set The second major difference between Biblical courtship and modern dating is the mind-set couples have when interacting with one another. It is not maliciously selfish, as in “I’m going to try to hurt you for my benefit.” It is an oblivious self-centeredness that treats the whole process as ultimately about me. And this is where the rubber really meets the road. In Biblical courtship, commitment precedes intimacy. According to the current school of thought, the best way to figure out whether you want to marry a particular person is to act as if you are married and see if you like it. What you do and say together is private and is no one else’s business, and since the relationship is private, you need not submit to anyone else’s authority or be accountable.
The Song of Solomon showcases the meeting, courtship and marriage of a couple – always with marriage in view. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her. Biblical courtship means that a man does not look for a laundry list of characteristics that comprise his fantasy woman so that is every desire can be fulfilled, but he looks for a godly woman as Scripture defines her – a woman he can love and, yes, be attracted to, but a woman whom he can serve and love as a godly husband.