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And even if these singles do go out with many, many people, at what point are they choosing a relationship not because the potential partner in question is an excellent match, but because they just want to stop the discomfort of dating? Neuman says, “[Some people] really do not want to get married; they want to maintain a fiction of aspiring to marriage; but it is only a fiction.”I’m not sure exactly what that means, because I’m not sure for whom the fiction is being maintained.
Singles often enjoy their autonomy—for example, they don’t have to share financial decisions, they can come home whenever they like, and they can maintain their own space exactly the way they want it.
However, this does not mean that the person does not still .
Telling her to go out there and do more of what has not worked for her may be practical—there are only so many ways to find potential partners—but of course she’s going to balk.
While it may seem just that simple from the married side of the fence (just the way it does from the non-depressed side of the fence), it’s not.
If it were, there would be fewer single people wishing they could find a partner and more people finding partners.