When is it okay to start dating again
It’s common for the newly separated to jump into a new relationship quickly; this is known as “rebounding.” Rebounding results from wanting to fill the void of loss and loneliness one feels after marital separation.However, because rebound relationships are based on filling a void, rather than being ready to move on, they often fall apart quickly.After a romantic relationship ends, sometimes you’re ready to get back on the market ASAP..other times you'd rather gouge your own eyes out than start swiping through Tinder again (too far? The same is true after a divorce—if and when you start dating again is a totally individual choice, and there’s no right way to go about it.To illustrate how much the timeframe can vary, we talked to nine women about how long it took them to take that scary leap of faith.“I got on Tinder right away, because I had found out my ex-husband cheated on me.I didn’t actually go on a date, though, until about four to five months after my divorce was finalized.It ended up being a total disaster—the guy was criticizing how I ate pizza—so I had to cut that nightmare short and have a friend come pick me up."I think figuring out when you’re ready is a matter of being really clear with where you are in the process.
For example, you still share a home with your spouse (even if one of you moved into the spare room or basement), or you’ve moved out but visit your former home every night to see your kids. Dating before you’ve established a full separation can make you look dishonest (even unfaithful) in the eyes of your spouse, family, and those you date.
I was, and then I went into dating with a different mindset.
I met a guy who I really liked and have been with him since.
Once I did get serious, I expected it to take a lot longer to connect with someone, but the timing was just right.” —Kristin Canning is the health editor at Women's Health, where she assigns, edits and reports on emerging health research and technology, women's health conditions, psychology, mental health, wellness entrepreneurs, and the intersection of health and culture for both print and digital.
If you’re separated from your spouse and getting divorced, you may wonder how to go about dating again.
It’s okay to say you aren’t ready to get serious, that you need to focus on your divorce or your kids, or that you’re still hurting over the divorce.